Ok, here we go again, I know I haven’t been cool when it comes to updates, but I’ve been busy, and I promise, there’s a lot of cool shit comin’ your way.
So be patience and you will receive.

Let’s start this shit you know how it works now.
Btw, this ain’t gonna be all about headbangers ball, but for now, its all I can do.

First one up, is Enslaved, Path to vanish?
The video is set up in beautiful Norwegian winter nature, and some bald dude is crawling around in the snow. The bass player plays the same Richenbacher bass as Lemmy, that’s cool.
And some chick in all white is walking trough the snowy woods. And the music suddenly turns into Cold-play like stuff, not black metal at all.

Dimmu Borgir, sorgens kammer part 2 is up.
The song means Chamber of sorrow, pretty dark huh?
The dude playing piano has his piano on fire, and there is, flames all over the place and they censor something out, what a ripp off!!
Inverted crosses, is cool too, but the music isn’t the greatest.
Funny thing, the lead singer’s mother is my dentists nurse.
So far there have been 2 Norwegian BM bands, but thank god there’s some new shit from last time.

Now its time for Rammstein – Mann Gegen Mann.
What the fuck does that mean you say? I have no fuckin’ idea, I don’t speak German.
The video is a bunch of naked dudes, wrestling around, and everyone in the band is naked, except the singer, he doesn’t have an instrument to hide behind.
These guys makes Manowar look like the Culture Club, that’s how gay this is.
Speaking of Manowar, the lead singer have, borrowed Eric Addams’ underwear.
And now it’s a Commercial break, thank god.

Slayer - raining blood is up next, and it’s live!!!
This fucking rules!!
King and Hannemans dual leads are so fucking cool, and there’s crosses everywhere.
The light is set to all red here, gues Slayer doesn’t bring purple and pink light bulbs with them on tour. Tom can scream better than anyone.

Satyricon K.I.N.G is up… read our review of their new album here.
Is I said in the review, this sing is fucking insane.
Satyr sits by a piano, while frost hangs out in the background.
Some groupies are trying to find their way down in the grotto their playing in, and a bunch of fans are trying to get in, but stupid as black metal fans are, they are all trying to enter at the same time, so their stuck in the doorway.
One of the fans are dressed as a Gestapo cop/village people cop.
And now comes KING, some dude with a crown, and a white cape.
He lays a cross or Thors hammer on the piano.

Now its Mötorhead, and its god save the queen.
They play on top on one of those British busses.
British flags everywhere, and the queen is drivin.
Isn’t she like 90? Should she be behind the wheels of a 20 ton buss? Specially with Mötorhead onboard.
Now their in a club playing, and the crowd is wilde probably glad the queen didn’t DUY on them.

Sepultura Roots Bloody Roots is up.
Sepultura means “tomb” in pourtogeese.
And Max is walking the streets of Sao Paoulo, screaming the ultra cool lyrics.
Igor is playing drums with a bunch of Brazilians, in body paint, makes it look primitive, and some other Brazilians are doing capoeira on the beach.
(Capoeira is a Brazilian dance/martial art)

Next is Ozzy – shot in the dark.
And it starts with a bunch of sluts driving to a concert.
They drive down the strip, looking at all the nightlife.
A dude is climbing a street sign maybe he didn’t get tickets to see Ozzy.
Now it’s inside the concert, and Ozzy looks glam, and in better shape than in 20 years, Maybe because it is 20 years ago?
Jake shreds the solo, and looks glam too, sparks everywhere on the band.
And now it looks like the first slut have had enough, she starts to feel dizzy, and then turns into a zombie, or some shit. Pretty cool video.

After the break, it’s Korn, and they suck as usual.
They stand in the middle of a dessert, I think its outside Las Vegas.
And the sky is cracking up, and suddenly its night time, with the fakest sky ever in the history of music videos.
Stars and lightning’s, and then THAT sky is cracking up, and its all white, and now the ground is cracking up, hopefully Jonathan will fall into a gap.

The Offspring is up, Keep ‘em separated, or some shit.
I remember back in grade school, this song was the one the “cool kids” were listening too.
While “losers” like myself, sat in the woods listening to Pantera and AC/DC and smoking weed. This video is in all negative, I know its cool on album covers, like Sabbath bloody Sabbath, but a whole video makes me sick.
Some dogs are fighting over an arm, and the most annoying bass line ever is playing repeatedly. Yes, its more annoying than Running With the Devil.

Alice in chains is the last one up. Down in a hole.
It’s the one where they’re all walking around in some dessert, what the fuck is with these bands, and desserts? Are they secretly wanna join AlQida?
Wow!! A skeleton with Slash’s hat on…. Did they kill Slash?
A bunch of kids are running around with rifles, and axes, that’s good parenting.
Is it me or do they play lesser songs each week? This was fucking stupid. 6 days, and 23 hours a week, they play R&B, but only 1 hour a week, with “metal” and half the time, its crap metal.