Live from Milan, Monday Night RAW provided its Italian audience with a few genuine surprises, some not-so-surprising moments, and several good matches.

The show kicks off with Vince McMahon's executive assistant, Coach comes out and expresses his displeasure with young Michael Pena's (the little kid from the Make-A-Wish Foundation) decision to include Shawn Michaels at Backwash …. Err Backlash's main event. Coach attempts to make the race towards John Cena's title belt a little more interesting and makes a match for this episode of RAW. Cena is pitted in a handicap match against the on-again, off-again Rated RKO, Edge and Randy Orton.

Coach then introduces Mr. McMahon who struts his way out with his fedora firmly in place, looking as if he's about to launch into a stirring rendition of "Luck Be a Lady Tonight." As the Milan crowd boos him, he mentions having had better receptions in Paris and other European cities. He notes that Milan is supposed to be the fashion capital of the world. Vince asks the camera to pan around the arena and survey the fashion quotient, which is sorely lacking.

Vince sneaks in a jab at the Italian crowd, mentioning that garlic is not an aphrodisiac before introducing Umaga. Footage rolls to remind the crowd of the ass beating he gave the ECW Champion, Bobby Lashley on last week's RAW. Vince mentions that Lashley didn't make it through customs and won't be present in Milan this evening. (If Milan is indeed the Fashion Capital of the world, customs must have seen his outfit from last week and wouldn't allow him to pass through.)

After further insulting the crowd, Vince issues an open challenge on Umaga's behalf and Armando "Most Underutilized Mouthpiece on RAW" Estrada sweetens the pot by putting the Samoan Bulldozer's Intercontinental Title on the line. None of the members of the RAW roster accept the challenge, so Mr. McMahon offers the opportunity to the crowd. He points to a little kid wearing a striped shirt in the audience and asks him if he wants to step into the ring. The kid runs and hides behind his father. Vinnie Mac backs off the little kid (which was kind of nice, even though when he grows up, that boy will probably crap his pants every time he sees someone in a fedora, well into his '40s.)

The eventual candidate from the audience who accepts the challenge ring is a man with blatantly horrid fashion sense wearing a brown printed shirt and glaringly red boots, that look curiously like ring-attire under his jeans. He also has a very thick neck and looks has a look that screams more OVW than Milan, Italy.

The crowd starts singing something in Italian before Vince yells at them (as only he can) to "SHUT UP!" We find out that the dude from the crowd's name is Santino Marella. (Oddly enough, "Marella" happens to be the real last name of the late, great Gorilla Monsoon, as well as his late son, the well-loved former WWE referee, Joey Marella.) Funny, I thought his name was **cough**plant**cough**. Marella whips his shirt off and has a gigantic backpiece of a black and grey lion etched onto his back. Because heavily tattooed, seriously jacked men with red wrestling boots under their jeans always sit in the front row.

The match gets underway and Marella looks pretty good in there, dodging out of the way of many of Umaga's blows. He even manages to get a few punches in at the Intercontinental Champion..

Vince comes in and breaks things up, informing Morella that this is a no-holds barred match and that anything goes in the ring. This gives Umaga the upper hand and the element of surprise, taking the young Marella to task.

Just then, Lashley runs to the ring and beans Umaga in the head several times with a chair. While Lashley has on the same ill-fitting suit as last week, perhaps customs provided him with a better, long-sleeved dress shirt and allowed him to cross the border.

Lashley hoists Santino Morella on top of Umaga. Morella pins the Samoan Bulldozer and wins the Intercontinental Championship Belt. I think I almost soiled myself! An actual, surprise moment from completely out of left field occurred on Monday Night RAW. And John Cena wasn't even involved in for once single second of it! Beyond that, a major title has actually changed hands!!

Jerry "The King" Lawler, sporting one of his usual loud numbers, a black shirt with gold lamé medallions, interviews Bobby Lashley and the new Intercontinental Champion in the middle of the ring. Now the Intercontinental Champion REALLY is "intercontinental."

Backstage, Carlito is gearing up. Ric Flair, applying for sainthood, and attired in his snazzy gold robe tells Carlito that he didn't let him down last week and that they both will redeem themselves with a win tonight.

Ric Flair and Carlito (with Torrie Wilson) make their entrance and the two men hug in the middle of the ring. The touching moment comes to an end as their opponents for the evening are announced, The World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

Carlito and Shelton lock up and Carlito drops the shoulder on Benjamin who leapfrogs over his highly-coiffed head. The two men attempt to hip-toss one another before Haas steps in. Carlito ends up tossing Haas over the top rope and Shelton and Carlito go at it again.

Carlito tags in Ric Flair and then Haas steps into the ring. The Nature Boy chops Haas several times across the chest before strutting around the ring and "Woo"-ing. The Dirtiest Player in the Game takes out Haas's leg from beneath him and goes to town.

Haas hammers away at Flair in the middle of the ring, dropping elbows and knees to Naitch on the canvas. Shelton is tagged in and pummels Flair in the cranium. Benjamin takes a step back and Haas attempts a suplex, which Flair counters. He manages to tag in Carlito who begins wailing away on the freshly-tagged Benjamin. Carlito nails a running knee lift and then the Carlito Springboard (which really didn't look like it connected with Benjamin) and dropping Shelton to the canvas. The momentum reverses as the referee has his back turned and Charlie Haas trips Carlito. Carlito loses his footing and walks right into Shelton Benjamin's T-Bone suplex and Benjamin pins him for the win.

As The World's Greatest Tag Team celebrates, a disgusted Carlito swats away Torrie Wilson, attempting to console him and does the same to the saintly Ric Flair. Ric and Torrie, in a scene similar to last week's, stand looking baffled as this feud-in-the-making is reaching a very slow boil.

This was a good match. Flair appeared to be noticeably slower compared to the younger bucks, but can still perform and add the much-needed touches to the match to motivate the crowd. The build towards the inevitable Flair/Carlito feud seems to be taking too long, particularly since they had already started feuding with one another before Wrestlemania 23 and then through a bizarre twist of continuity, mended their fences as if nothing had ever happened.

Backstage, Maria introduces John Cena for an interview and lo and behold, "boo" translates really well in Italian, as noted by the resounding jeers The Champ's appearance is met with. However, the crowd cheers Shawn Michaels as he interrupts Cena who pronounces himself the "one true champ." (That's bordering dangerously close to declaring himself messiah at this point.) The crowd cheers further when Michaels says that he will leave Cena laying flat at the next PPV event before making his exit.

Backstage, Melina is primping before a mirror. Johnny Nitro assures her that she will win the fashion competition. She makes with the mutual admiration comment and insists that Nitro will win his match against Eugene. Cue the slow-guy and Eugene pops in to wave "Hi!" in the dressing room before scampering off.

Nitro makes his entrance to the ring with his very spiffy full-length fur jacket. Eugene runs out from the back, down the ramp, galloping excitedly to the ring. Nitro begins wailing away on Eugene right out of the gate. Eugene flings Nitro to the corner but Nitro battles back and nails him with the Snapshot, hooks the leg and pins Eugene for the win.

Eugene has now reached Super J.O.B.-er status. What a waste. Considering he got his head shaved a few weeks ago, it would have been a perfect opportunity to revamp Dinsmore's character. He's a good wrestler with a strong repertoire. While I like Johnny Nitro, owing to both men's ring skill, I would have expected a better, if not longer match.

On the other hand, I'm in awe of Nitro's abs. Damn, is he hot..

Up next, Todd Grisham introduces an Italian announcer to cover the Diva Fashion Show. Since my Italian is sorely limited to "linguini," "ciao," and "culo," I couldn't understand most of what he was saying. No matter, this was a total fluff piece that sucked up a good ten minutes of time. Nevertheless, I'll recap this part incase there are any fashion aficionados out there or for those who somehow find any segment featuring the WWE Divas to be prime spank material.

First out is Candice Michelle, covered with strap-on…. angel wings. (Betcha thought I was going to say something else, huh?) She was wearing a scoop-necked white and gold-streaked mod mini dress.

Next, Victoria, going overkill on the red streaks, comes out and trips on her wedge heels. She angrily kicks them off and struts down the runway in a white, empire waist sundress. Victoria sells her walk for comedic effect and still manages to look smokin' while doing it.

Mickie James comes out wearing something not much different from her regular attire with a white top, tight denim and gold knee-high boots over the jeans that don't flatter her thighs too much. Mickie is hotter than 95% of the female population, but still looks like the type of chick you'd see playing pool at your local bar/hall.

Maria then skips out, wearing an ass-bandaid of a skirt with a sequined Betty Boop camisole. Torrie Wilson has on ass-bandaid shorts with a black, frilly shirt-jacket thing. Nothing to really write home about, but the crowd eats it up. Mostly because they are the two most scantily clad girls in the ring.

Melina finally comes out with her hair up in a very pouffy page boy (and not a flattering 'do on her) and a short, red bubble-skirt dress with a thick black belt.

The crowd seems to really like Maria and Torrie Wilson and Torrie is declared the winner. The Women's Champion, Melina tackles Torrie and wallops her. Mickie James comes to her rescue and whacks Melina while the other girls try to smack around Victoria. The non-wrestling chicks plus Mickie prance around and raise one another's hands in victory in the middle of the ring as Melina and her buddy Victoria glare angrily. Please bring back crazy Victoria. Please.

Up next is singles-competition featuring members of the RAW brand's top tag teams. Jeff Hardy, of the Hardy Boys faces Lance Cade of the oh-so-cleverly named Number One Contenders, Murdoch & Cade

The Hardys come out with their Tag Team Championship belts. Jeff glides effortlessly to the ring posts and the Milanese fans cheer him on in his single's competition match against "Low-Rise" Lance Cade, accompanied by his very own tag-team partner available for moral support, Trevor "The Cable Guy" Murdoch.

Hardy skates backwards before Cade rushes him into the corner. The ref breaks the hold and moves things out of the corner. Cade boots Hardy in the stomach and drops him to the mat after another kick. He scoops up Hardy and slams him to the canvas. Cade whips Hardy to the corner. Hardy reverses it, going to the turnbuckle with a Whisper in the Wind on Cade before delivering a beautiful aerial cartwheel leg drop, spinning 360 in the air. Hardy climbs the top rope to splash Cade, but Cade rolls out of the ring. Hardy dismounts and follows his opponent to the outside.

Murdoch nails Hardy with a cheap shot on behalf of his partner. Hardy gets some payback on Trevor Murdoch, baseball sliding right into his mush and sending him flying outside the ring.

Once again, the momentum switches and Cade pulls Jeff Hardy back Murdoch hits Jeff again outside the ring before Cade lands yet another boot on Jeff Hardy. Lance almost scores a pinfall, but Jeff kicks out at the count of two. Cade tries to deliver an elbow but gets a reverse mule kick instead. Jeff Hardy throws Cade to corner, but Lance throws the elbow.

Jeff goes for a seated jawbreaker before running at Cade with a forearm and mid-air snapmare takeover. Hardy gets to top rope and Murdoch tries to intervene but Jeff's brother, Matt Hardy stops him. Jeff tries a Swanton and ends up getting Lance's knees in his chest as Cade draws his legs inward. Cade capitalizes for the win and pins Jeff Hardy.

I'm not sure why there's such a push with Cade and Murdoch. Cade is a decent wrestler and put on a good show, however, there are several other tag teams who could make for a more interesting feud with wrestlers the caliber of either of the Hardy Boys. It seems like this match was thrown in to add fuel to the fire for the Tag Team Championship match at Backlash.

In the ring, the Masterpiece says a few words before his opponent, Super Crazy is announced. Crazy seems to have a very large fanbase in Italy, judging by the massive pop the Milan crowd gives him. Masters starts kicking away on Super Crazy. Crazy nimbly jumps to the top turnbuckle and kicks Masters in the face. He then launches himself over the top rope with a plancha that connects with Masters outside the ring.

He goes to the top rope again for a moonsault, but Masters gets out of the way. Masters (looking sort of blonde) whacks away on Crazy before sending him to the corner. Super Crazy kicks out of a near pinfall and the two men go at it again. Crazy kicks Masters several times from the corner, before launching himself at Masters' back for a crucifix. Masters reverses it and lands backwards on Super Crazy.

Masters now has the upper hand and yanks back on Crazy's neck from a seated position. Crazy tries "Hulking up" and gets to his feet. He comes at Masters who throws him over his shoulder with a back body drop. Snapmare by Masters before another chokehold. Crazy twists around and moves in on Masters' knees, kicking him in the back of the leg and going for a huge dropkick and a standing moonsault. Masters kicks out of the pin and they both go at it, yet again. Crazy attempts a wheelbarrow, but Masters reverses it and faceplants Crazy to the canvas. Masters scores the pin.

This was a good match, but something of a throwaway. Super Crazy is being groomed for Chris Jericho's old spot and Chris Benoit's current spot as King of the Feud. Masters looked pretty good in there against the Largest Luchador. I was quite surprised. I'm wondering what sort of direction they're going to take his character in with Lashley having broken his running schtick, The Masterlock.

Backstage, Edge is gearing up for the main event match before Randy Orton pays him a visit to request that bygones be bygones. Both men need to be on the same page to beat Cena in their handicap match tonight.

The two have a little "moment" recognizing one another as the best partners they've ever had and clasp hands before going out to the ring. Once again, the superlative mash-up of Edge and Orton's theme music blares throughout the arena and the crowd erupts. Both men pose from the turnbuckles, addressing their fans with arms raised high.

The boos start even before Cena enters the arena and grow louder as Cena's music cues up. Wow. And I thought Chicago was a tough crowd. Cena appears slightly shaken and trudges down to the ring. As The King duly notes, Cena seems to have quite a number of female fans, although the males sipping the Hatorade are significantly more vocal. For the second week in a row, the camera pans to many of the jiggly female Cena fans in the audience.

Cena and Edge lock up first. Edge boots him in the stomach and flings him from the corner. Cena reverses it and takes Edge down with a Fisherman's suplex. He takes Edge over again with a side headlock and tries for a pin. Edge kicks out and forces Cena back into the corner, ramming The Champ's head to the ring post.

Orton is tagged in and stomps away at Cena. Cena rushes Orton into the corner and the crowd is booing heavily, cheering whenever Orton gets in the offense. Orton tries for the Orton Stomp before picking up Cena and punching at his head. Cena is knocked to the canvas before Orton picks him up. Orton boots Cena in the face and Edge closes in and drops the elbow.

The show goes to a commercial break and is joined in progress with Cena appearing to be dazed on the ring apron. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler mention that Cena did not get in one single offensive maneuver during the commercial break. Right now, however, Edge runs at The Champ, sending him flying into the Italian announce table (a fact well-marked by J.R.) Orton picks him up and bounces him off of the table. Orton throws him back into the ring, sitting on top of him and punching him repeatedly in the head.

Edge is tagged in and Cena slumps in the corner. Edge winds back with a massive hit and Cena fights back, landing several shots to Edge's jaw. Edge then climbs atop Cena with a similar attack Orton had just mounted with several punches to the head.

Orton enters again and lands a very nice dropkick, sending Cena to the mat. Orton continues pounding away on Cena before tagging in Edge. Edge tries to pick up Cena, Cena reverses it and almost gets the FU before Edge re-reverses it, taking Cena back down to the canvas. Cena is wobbling around, barely able to stand. Edge grabs Cena and picks him up to the top rope, where the two men trade blows. Cena manages to hit off a strong blow, sending Edge backwards.

Orton nails Cena with a top rope guillotine leg drop before Orton gets a crack at the champion and starts clobbering Cena. He takes Edge over by the jaw and boy, does it look painful.

That's when Shawn Michaels makes his entrance. He holds the ring rope, spilling Orton over the top and onto the concrete below.

Cena picks up Edge for the FU. Orton kicks him and Cena dumps Edge…. Onto the referee, knocking him unconscious.

Edge attempts to spear Cena and accidentally hits Orton with it. More accidental calamity ensues when HBK superkicks Edge by accident after attempting to hit Cena. Cena slides out of the way, coming from behind with the FU on Michaels. Michaels sells it on the mat while Cena pins Edge. Color me so not shocked as the show comes to an end.

This could have been a prime opportunity to plant some sort of a seed that John Cena is not invincible heading into the PPV. Instead, the fans fuming is further fueled by having Cena beat not one, not two, but three guys in the ring at once. After being pummeled in a handicap match by both Edge and Orton, then being double-crossed by Michaels with a psychological attack, somehow, Cena pulls off yet another win. If the WWE wants him to have any sort of future as anything but a hated heat machine, they need to get him to drop the strap.

Next Monday… It's Cena vs. Michaels in a one-on-one match. Cena will be walking on water before changing it to wine and Shawn Michaels will renounce his Christian faith and convert to Cena-ism. If Cena doesn't at least lose to Michaels next week, I may just lose my lunch.