On a night that could have been potentially interesting, Monday Night RAW phoned it in with a prevailing theme of boring squash matches, reverting back to the same-old same-old instead of evolving new storylines, sequences directly ripped from classic '90s TV shows, and oh yeah, potentially good matches interrupted by the company's hosses. Whoopedy-doo.

The show kicks off with Vince McMahon, CEO and ECW Champion, introduced by his executive assistant, Coach. Vinnie Mac is riding the hilarity train for all it's worth, possibly mocking ECW with his newly-found bad fashion sense and wearing a full-length doo rag in addition to yet another hideous suit that looks as if Shawn Michaels picked it out for him. However, his tie is very nice.

Feeling thug-tastic, Mr. McMahon lets loose with a "What up, G?" to Coach. There is a rewind to last week with Vince's new pride and joy, The Great Khali and his systematic decimation of Shawn Michaels, Edge, Randy Orton, and John Cena. This systematic decimation is akin to the creative team's systematic decimation of my interest in tonight's episode.

Vince attempts to make a match for Judgment Day when he is interrupted by Shawn Michaels who is still bent on Number One Contendership. He would be the Number One Contender if Khali did not get in his way (like a Mack truck) last week. Michaels insists that Vince never did anything for him and that he has and intends to earn his spot. Going out on a limb and claiming total insanity, Michaels wants a match against Khali tonight. The crowd chants HBK and Vince McMahon acknowledges that he has more guts than brains and that his guts and brains may be splattered around the ring.

Vince grants him his wish like a doo-rag decked, plaid-suit wearing genie. Only instead, Bobby Lashley makes his appearance. Lashley is moving rather gingerly, wearing a shirt and more pads than a crate of Kotex, possibly to hide his injured shoulder. He confronts Vince with his tiny, Mike Tyson-esque voice and says that since he gave Michaels what he wants, he wants something now, too.

Vince tries to provoke him by telling Lashley that he is unable to touch him otherwise, he'll get canned. He engages him in a little Backlash footage of Lashley getting creamed and losing his title by pinfall to Vinnie Mac.

To further taunt Lashley, Vince mentions the Collectors Edition of RAW Magazine (on stands this Tuesday!). The cover features the three post-Wrestlemania champions, the Monstrous Undertaker with his two toddlers Cena and Lashley . Vince notes that the cover really is incorrect and the Photoshop wizards in the back superimpose Vince's tiny, very white head over the rather large, dark body of Bobby Lashley. Hilarity ensues.

An infuriated Lashley challenges Vince McMahon for the title. Vince's reply is the classic, "You never heard about the grapefruits, huh?!" So, at Judgment Day, Vincent Kennedy McMahon (and his tag team partners, Umaga and Shane McMahon) will take on Bobby Lashley giving him a shot at the ECW Title.

The overlong exchange results in Vince punking out Lashley after calling him out and telling him he can only take his shot at Judgment Day. Should he clock McMahon there, he's looking for employment elsewhere.

Coach does his part as the sacrificial lamb, being pulled into the ring to absorb one hell of an ass-beating s in place of McMahon before Lashley boots the Executive Assistant to the outside.

Before cutting to a commercial break, backstage, Mickie James and Candice Michelle prepare to go to the ring for their match and Candice needs some help hooking up her bra. For those of you scoreless at home, this is supposed to be a cheap attempt at sub-par Skinemax-level titillation.

Candice and Mickie are in the ring and Melina and Victoria do their butt-bumping entrance. All of the women, actually are rather conservatively dressed. But Victoria's visor has got to GO.

Victoria kicks Candice directly in the girl-parts before whipping her to the ropes. Candice does a nice flip with Victoria and Melina is tagged in. She stares down Candice and Mickie is tagged in to receive a bitchslap from Melina. There is some surprisingly nice teamwork from Candice and Mickie resulting with Mickie tackling Melina to the canvas. Victoria intervenes only to get served with a hurracurana before being knocked off the apron and Melina gets hers, too. Mickie halts herself on the ropes and she and Melina stop dead in their tracks.

Candice comes in from behind and knocks Melina for a loop, capitalizing with a pin. Melina is still dazed in the middle of the ring as Candice and Mickie celebrate the victory.

Candice is definitely showing improvement in the ring and I have to give her props for it. However, I'd like to suggest that she take it easy on lightening her hair as the dark brown is a MUCH more flattering look than the ash-brown skipping towards dark blonde that she's sporting now.

Up next, The Masterpiece, Chris Masters is in the middle of the ring looking jacked beyond belief. Rumor has it that he's the next in line to be primed for a push.

Cue the opera music and the spunky Intercontinental Champion, Santino Marella comes out looking a lot more Albanian than Italian with his red boots and polyester warm-up jacket. All that's missing is a cigarette and a cell phone. And he's also gotten a new chest tattoo since winning the title. How quaint.

The two men lock up and Masters goes at the I.C. Champ with a renewed sense of viciousness. Master scoop-slams Marella and tries to drop the elbow on him but Marella moves out of the way.

Marella tries working him over but Masters clobbers him with a clothesline that nearly takes Santino's head off. Masters runs at the ropes and uses the momentum to plant a boot in the young champ's back. Marella kicks out of a two-count and Masters goes to work on the champion's back. Masters goes for a kneelift across Marella's neck and Marella dodges again.

Marella delivers some hard kicks to Masters before landing an insaguri. He gets Masters in the corner and hammers him with punches before being tossed backwards. Marella recovers and pins The Masterpiece for the win, retaining his title.

If they do choose to push Masters, it wouldn't be a bad idea. He's improved in the ring and he's young with the possibility for a log of longevity. However, they've robbed him of his gimmick and need to create something new for him instead of being a very large, very jacked mid-card jobber. Marella, on the other hand, looked pretty sloppy in the ring. It seemed as if he wasn't able to do a lot of the maneuvers and sped through them to camouflage the fact.

After the commercial break, Ken Kennedy comes out with his MITB briefcase and echoes his statement from last week that he is going to use his title shot at Wrestlemania 24. He leaves the crowd with a Mistaaaaaaaa Kennedy…. Wait for it. Wait for it. Kenn-a-daaaay! And they eat it up.

In a backstage interview with Maria, Randy Orton gives an uncharacteristically heartfelt interview and says that in his match against John Cena tonight, he will not only get his career, but his life on track. I'm not quite sure what exactly that eludes to, but it was an honestly good promo.

Back in the ring, The Highlanders are ready to be fed once again to Umaga in a 2-on-1 Cannon Fodder match. The Highlanders circle the giant Samoan in the ring, preparing an offence and Rory goes low. Umaga slaps Robbie backwards and hammers him into the corner and eventually to the mat. Umaga runs to the corner and nails Robbie with a flying knee before landing his Samoan Spike to Rory. He goes back to Robbie in the corner and picks him up by his hair and Samoan Spikes him, too.

Umaga then places Robbie over the top of Rory in a 69 position. Yes. I am absolutely serious here. As if this tag team couldn't endure anything more humiliating, they now get to re-enact scenes from "Sally Does Scotland" in the ring before Umaga climbs to the top rope with a splash pinning them for the win. The two Highlanders didn't even get one lick of offense in. Who did these guys piss off? Seriously.

Backstage, Edge confronts the gum-chewing Ken Kennedy telling him that he doesn't like Kennedy on his show. (Well, finally someone addresses the roster hopping going on as of late!) Edge taunts Kennedy into putting his MITB briefcase on the line. Kennedy insists that he will win and still retain the briefcase and that at Wrestlemania, there will be a new champion by the name of… And thus, Mr. Kennedy screams his first name then his last name, twice, in Edge's face. Kennedy has got some good lung power judging by his verbage blowing Edge's hair back like he was in a Whitesnake video.

Shawn Michaels makes his entrance to the ring and I'm beginning to smell that distinct aroma that is so prevalent tonight of feeding smaller, more capable wrestlers to big goofy hosses. Regardless, the crowd is behind HBK as Khali's music is cued and the incredibly large dude struts down the ramp for this No-Disqualifications, Number One Contender Match.

Michaels runs at him before Khali gets in the ring, jumping on top of him and beating him down so that Khali's arms become entangled in the ropes as Michaels hammers at him. Khali frees himself as Michaels runs to the ropes to lay a further beatdown on him and gets kicked in the ribs for his effort. Khali keeps the ball in his court and slams HBK to the canvas, going for a leg drop, but the wily Michaels rolls out of the way and out of the ring to pick up a steel chair. He whacks Khali in the face with the chair and then climbs to the top rope with a flying elbow on Khali.

Michaels tunes up the band for some Sweet Chin Music and almost connects, however Khali grabs Michaels' leg in midair and flips him over. Michaels is thrown to the corner and choked with Khali's boot before the big man clobbers him again.

HBK flips back over the ring post ropes, a la Ric Flair and still gets smooshed to the canvas by Khali.

Khali then chokes Michaels and Shawn wisely goes for the eye-gouge. Khali topples out of the ring. Michaels lands a baseball slide kick to Khali to the outside before clearing off a lot of the announcer's tables. Michaels tries to pick up Khlali, but can't. Instead, Khali puts HBK through the table and it looks like Michaels hit it square with his back, his head snapping back. Ouch would be an understatement.

"Holy shit" chants break out at ringside as the ref stops the match with Michaels unconscious and unable to continue. Khali celebrates with a noise only heretofore heard at a Wookie Life Day Celebration. The monster hoofs it to the back and Michaels is still down for the count.

In a backstage interview, John Cena actually receives A LOT of cheers when he's announced and even more in heralding Todd Grisham as King of the Stupid Question. Cena hypes his match against Randy Orton tonight and dismisses Khali and the pounding at his hands from last week. The Champ insists that "the only thing great about Khali is the size of the skidmark in his toilet bowl." This is the Cena I remember from his early days of Thuganomics. Please bring him back.

In another backstage segment, Cryme Tyme is back and asks the crowd "What's really good?" I think they're dragging out all of the tag teams tonight for guest spots. Shad Gaspar and JTG shill their Cryme Tyme Mother's Day Sale and blatantly ripping off the Homeboy Shopping Network skit from "In Living Color." Their first suggestion for what to get Mom is a nice dinner. Cut to a clip of Big Vis preparing to eat his juicy steak dinner with his A1 at hand. He lifts the lid to his plate and BAM! It's gone.

Shad and JTG suggest a gift for a Psychopathic Mom, giving her something that will calm her down. They hold up a large baggie filled to the brim with prescription pills in their familiar orange canisters. Cut to Eugene going nuts in the locker room and basically does the Curly Shuffle thanks to his lack of meds.

Cryme Tyme then suggests getting Mom a brand new Hummer. In the parking lot, Ron Simmons, wearing his awesome shirt, looks around for his vehicle. Upon seeing it missing, he exclaims a loud DAMN!

The writers attempt for some originality and give Cryme Tyme the tag line, "If you desire it, we'll acquire it." At least they didn't blatantly rip off "We're slashin' prices!" from the Wayans Brothers. Just as Cryme Tyme gives a "Word to your mother," a short, fat Spiderman wearing a very tight, revealing outfit comes out. Cryme Tyme brands him as "Tubby Maguire." Gaspar tells Spiderman that "My name is Batman" and takes out a club and beats him with it. JTG grabs Tubby's wallet and they exit stage left, singing the money song.

After the commercial break, the Hardys come out with their Tag Team Championship belts to thunderous applause from the crowd. Once again, Cade and Murdoch are at ringside to sit with Jerry "The King" Lawler and Jim Ross and comment. Oddly enough, this trick of allowing them to talk is making them grow on me.. The Hardys opponents for tonight are Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, the World's Greatest Tag Team. Cade and Murdoch mention that this is going to be a great match and I have to agree with them. Cade admonishes Murdoch for his chew habit and Trevor aww-shucks it off.

Matt and Shelton lock up and the action is fast and furious. Hardy scoop slams Shelton to the mat and Hardy climbs to the top rope where Benjamin nearly topples him. Haas reaches in and yanks Matt down by his arm before Benjamin makes the tag. Haas suplexes Hardy and executes a nice bridge.

Benjamin is tagged in, scrappling with Hardy and locking his arm in a vice. Benjamin yanks up and both men are on their feet. Hardy punches Shelton in the gut and is DDT-ed. Matt tags in his brother Jeff who makes with the suplexes He throws Shelton on top of Haas before whipping Haas to the ropes and delivering the Whisper In The Wind. Shelton intervenes to help out his brother only to be nailed with the Twist of Fate. The teams slug it out for a bit and then Jeff hits the Swanton for the pin.

Cade and Murdoch get up and insist they must congratulate the Hardys and shake their hands. Getting into the ring, I notice that Murdoch looks a lot thinner, or better at least. I'm shocked. The Hardys go for it and shake the duo's hands. Nothing happens besides the two rednecks politely smiling and clapping, poster children for good sportsmanship. This could get interesting.

This was a decent match, but I was expecting more. It seemed squeezed in more to advance a possible feud between the Hardys and Cade and Murdoch than to highlight the impressive skills of both the Hardys and The World's Greatest Tag Team. It's a shame, because I think if they were allowed to really run with the ball, this could have been better than the good match it was.

Up next is a recap of last week's events with Flair and Carlito and the feud that has finally broke after what seems to have been months of building towards. Carlito storms to the ring with a very cool Hawaiian shirt and Torrie Wilson.

Carlito expresses his displeasure for Ric Flair for walloping him in front of his girl. He takes issue with Ric Flair taking him under his wing and promising him he could make him great and coming up short. He laments and blames their tag team losses on Flair. It's basically an Anakin Skywalker type meltdown calling out Obi Wan.

He calls out Flair, who actually is in Vegas. Carlito says that he got rid of some of the garbage from his life with Flair and now will get rid of some more, namely, Torrie Wilson. Carlito going all Ricky Ricardo, speaking at Torrie in Espanol who pushes him away and rolls out of the ring. I guess Carlito is going to make a full-on heel turn now.

Following the commercial break is the match for the MITB briefcase. Kennedy makes his entrance (heavily taped) and Edge jumps him from behind. Edge whips Kennedy to the barricade, whipping off his shirt and choking Kennedy with it. The match hasn't officially started yet and Edge rams Kennedy to the ringpost before picking up a monitor and clobbering Kennedy in the noggin.

Edge loads Kennedy into the ring and the referee restrains Edge so that Kennedy can get to his feet before the match starts. The ref gives him the option of not having to do this and Kennedy weakly says "Bring it!" Kennedy runs at Edge and is immediately taken off his feet by a spear and rolled up for a pin. Edge is declared the winner has now won the MITB briefcase and title shot. The ref hands him the case and he immediately proceeds to beat Kennedy in the head several times with it.

That was an impression of a match designed to probably explain Kennedy's absence due to yet another injury. Surgery-requiring injuries seem to be going around quite a bit among WWE's upper tier with Undertaker and Kennedy from Smackdown and Bobby Lashley all scheduled to be out for several months.

After the commercial break, Lawler and J.R. sit amid the wreckage and rubble that once was their announce table, ready to call the final match for the night. Randy Orton makes his way down to the ring for his match against John Cena, hoping to get his career and life back on track.

John Cena comes out to loud cheers and a few not-so-loud boos.

This had the potential to be a really good match and something I was looking forward to seeing for awhile, not just tonight. I'm all for two young guys in a main title match and eventually, would love to see Orton hold the belt again for a much longer period than the week he did with the company's sole purpose to spite Brock Lesnar and rob him of the title of the Youngest Man Ever to Hold the WWE Championship Belt.

They both lockup and take one another down to the mat. Cena whips Orton to the ropes and goes for the Fisherman's Suplex and a near fall. He dives at Orton in the corner and Orton dodges, with Cena's shoulder hitting the ring post hard. Randy goes for the Orton Stomp and finishes with a flying knee drop on Cena with yet another near fall on the Champ.

Orton locks a neck vice on Cena who struggles to his feet. Orton swings at Cena and misses before Cena goes in for his patented Six Moves of Doom.

Out comes the "You Can't See Me" followed by the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Just then, The Great Khali trudges down to ringside. Cena is somewhat oblivious and goes for the FU and then drops Orton out of the finisher. Khali takes Cena's belt and hoists it over his shoulder. I couldn't tell if he was playing with the spinny-insignia on it, but if he did, it would have been a nice touch. Now Cena is distracted. Temporarily. Orton hammers him, but Cena comes back and takes his leg out from under him, putting him in an ankle lock. Orton edges to the ropes and the ref breaks the hold. Cena runs out of the ring to chase after Khali and his belt, leaving Orton in the ring. The credits fade up and out as Khali walks out with the belt.

Wow. That was incredibly lame! Not only did they not reveal the close of the match (whether or not Orton won by Cena being counted out), but they cheated viewers out of a decent match instead of pimping what will undoubtedly be a craptastic confrontation between Cena and The Great Khali. That sucked.

While this was certainly not the worst episode of RAW I've ever seen (that dubious title is still held by the night that the Rosie/Trump Faux Feud took over the show), but it wasn't that great. What could have been some solid matches were spoiled by interference and focusing on what-could-be-feuds instead of what was directly at hand. I wasn't too thrilled with the squash matches, either. Most of it seemed rather directionless. Well, better luck next week.