The prom theme for Monday Night RAW from Bridgeport, CT is "Tag Teams and Number One Contender Spots" since both "Under the Sea" and "One Magical Evening" were already taken. Setting things up for the next PPV, Backwash... errr... Backlash, WWE realizes that after last week's Tag Team Battle Royales that "Shoot, we sure do have a lot of tag teams. Maybe we should use them!" Also, apparently, if you call yourself the Number One Contender, you really are one, as evidenced by Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton arguing over who should face John Cena for the Championship Title.

The show begins and Shane O-Mac comes out to his kick-ass "Here Comes The Mon-nay!" music, looking snappy in an entirely different way from his father with a tan, moleskin suede sport jacket, jeans, and a crisp white shirt.

Apparently, Shane McMahon has been gearing up for the new season of The Sopranos, speaking about the importance of respect. He is the fourth generation of McMahon-dom that has worked in the wrestling industry and that for years, that name was synonymous with respect. However, at Wrestlemania, that respect was taken from his family and they were made a laughing stock. Shane holds the ECW Champion, Bobby Lashley personally responsible for this. Shane-O-Mac calls out Bobby Lashley, who although he's an ECW roster member, is somehow lurking backstage in

Bobby Lashley is a terrible dresser, wearing an ill-fitting white polo shirt underneath a grey pinstriped suit that hangs in the wrong places. I realize that when you're as large as Lashley, it's hard to find good places to shop. But come on! There's no excuse to have things hang like that!

Sartorial snafus aside, the crowd is very much behind him, with loud chants of "Bob-by! Bob-by!" filling the arena.

Shane confronts Lashley and says that he took his family's dignity from them at Wrestlemania and that he would find a way to take his dignity. (Considering this is the WWE, that's kind of hard to do.) He would take away the thing that most defines him, his ECW championship belt and intended to do that tonight, making a match with Lashley putting his belt on the line against… None other than Mr. Coast-to-Coast Shane McMahon himself.

As Lashley and Shane were ready to exchange word, cue the tribal drums… It's Umaga! Shane orders Umaga to get back, slapping Umaga's handler, Armando "It's still 'Alejandro' (ha, ha!) to me (ha!)" Estrada hard across the face. Armando pulls an angered Umaga back and effectively handles him, both men walking backwards.

With both men getting some quality alone time in the ring together, Lashley says that he will put his most prized possession on the line, believing that the title cannot be bought. Oddly enough, I was under the impression that I can get an ECW title, too if I save the proofs-of-purchases from boxes of cereal and send them in. Lashley's stipulation to Shane is that if he puts his belt on the line, Shane McMahon puts his hair on the line. Shane agrees and the match is on for later in the evening.

After the commercial break, a very smiley Mickie James comes out wearing stuff that covers her bodacious booty and looking like she raided Trish Stratus' ring attire closet or went shopping (breaking kayfabe and shopping with Melina) with more of a flared bell-bottom look and a tied-up sports bra top. Her partner, Candice Michelle comes out wearing a bondage corset and similarly flared pants in black and red but sliced up their bellbottom sides.

Their opposition, Victoria comes out, making kneebraces look insanely hot with a gothic-inspired, latticed unitard in black before the Women's Champion makes her entrance wearing her usual attire.

Mickie James and Melina go at it. Mickey bounces off the ropes and slides down with a low drop kick, taking out Melina's legs from under her. Candice Michelle is tagged in and works over Melina's arm before sending her flying to the ropes and crashing on top of her. Candice climbs the rope and attempts to hurracurrana her on the top (that's not gonna happen) and Melina attempts to do one of her patented, innovative maneuvers and Victoria comes over and kicks Candice in the ribs.

A pleased Melina tags in her partner Victoria and she and Melina work over Candice. Victoria holds her in place as Melina runs at Candice in the corner and pummels her. Melina suplexes Candice before putting her in a painful looking bow and arrow maneuver.

Victoria is tagged in and makes short work of Candice before Candice manages to tag in Mickie who gives Victoria a run for her money. Mickie goes for a Thesz press on Melina, who intervenes on Victoria's behalf.

Candice gets in a good move, taking out Victoria in the process and freeing up Mickie to work over the legal woman, Victoria.

Mickie nails Victoria with the spike DDT and pins Victoria. Mickie James and Candice Michelle are declared winners of the tag match. Melina eyes up Mickie and holds up her Women's Title, angrily taunting her.

Backstage, a suit-wearing little boy named Michael Pena from the Make A Wish Foundation is walking around with Mick Foley. The kid was made honorary General Manager for the evening as Jolly Old St. Mick introduces him to some of the superstars backstage. He introduces young Michael to the Highlanders who happily introduce themselves. Foley asks them if he wants to create a whacky stipulation match which would involve the Highlanders shaving their beards. Fearing for their facial hair, they beat a hasty retreat and Mick introduces young Michael to the lovely Maria who gives the little boy a hug. Foley gives the kid props on getting to touch a diva before letting him give a little promo, hailing Bridgeport, CT as the greatest city in the world. Not only did the kid get an honorary General Managership, but it would appear that he got an honorary degree from Foley's Cheap Pop University. It was a pretty cute little segment and nice to see a little kid getting his wish granted by the WWE.

Up next, Ric Flair, Carlito, and Torrie Wilson bring it on down to the ring. Ric is wearing his splendid leather and blue robe (which probably means he's scheduled to lose tonight). The two men and Torrie stand in the middle of the ring and Carlito grabs the mike and says that he has something to say to Ric Flair. Carlito brings up Ric Flair's awesome promo from a few months back in which Flair totally basted Mr. Caribbean Cool's lack of work ethic and lit a fire under his ass. Carlito acknowledged that he was flattered that Flair had picked him to verbally berate, knowing that The Dirtiest Player in the Game is "very choosy and picky" with whom he decides to encourage and thanks Flair for lighting a fire under his ass.

During Carlito's speech, the crowd starts in with an irritating "what" chant which didn't really have much of a place. I guess you show the white-sockers Austin a few times and it revives perhaps one of the most irritating and ignorant trends (next to "Borrrrrr-ing!") in all of sports entertainment. Note to fans: It's funny when Austin does it. It's just stupid when you do it. There are times where a well-placed "What" or "Borrrr-ring!" is appropriate and voices your opinion. Doing it gratuitously is just retarded.

Carlito reminds everyone why Naitch was one of the best in the business. A video package with Ric Flair ensues. Damn, was Ric Flair ever smokin' hot back in the day. Classic Flair promo bits are shown with Rickles waxing poetic about how "My shoes cost more than your house" and that he had a limo outside "with 25 women just dying for me to go 'Woo!'" Old school Flair from the NWA days throws out his own little "Make-a-Wish," too, saying in regards to his ring-robe finery that "I wish all the kids could wear these, but at $5000 a pop" it's a little steep. Damn. Ric Flair was awesome. Testaments to his awesome power are given by men like Barry Wyndham, who now resembles Greg Allman.

The package winds to a close and at first, I thought Flair was getting set to retire until Good Ol' J.R. mentioned that all of this footage could be seen on the new Four Horsemen DVD that just came out. (This could have been Night of 1,001 Cheap Plugs.) .

Carlito prefaces their Tag Team #1 Contender Match by saying that "You can have gold around your waist again" and notes the evening's opportunity for the World Tag Team Titles at Backlash if they defeat Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. (While I love Flair and like Carlito, what are they, much less Cade and Murdoch doing facing a team like the Hardy Boys at a PPV. Where is the World's Greatest Tag Team. Oh yeah, they have blink-and-you-miss-it match later tonight with the Hardys, totally squandering what could have been an incredible contest.)

The match is joined in progress after the commercial break. Ric wings Cade against the ropes. Murdoch is tagged in and mounts Flair, punching him in the face before slapping him on the back. Apparently, slapping Ric's back triggers the Flair Chop Button and Naitch winds up and cracks Murdoch several times.

Flair's breaks are put on and Murdoch launches Cade at Ric in the corner before working on his jaw.

Holy crap! I actually see a tag rope in Carlito's hand! I can't believe they've brought back the tag rope! Forget about "sexy," someone said "I'm bringin' tag rope back." I missed that little thing, particularly for the note of common sense it provides tag team matches with.

Flair comes out of the danger zone and starts working over Murdoch. Carlito is tagged in, really going to town on Murdoch with a jumping Million Dollar Knee Lift. He almost gets a tag before Cade intercedes and breaks it up.

Carlito attempts a backwards springboard and is thwarted. The botched move leaves Carlito dazed and as he staggers to regain his balance, Low Rise Lance and Trevor The Cable Guy execute a move that could only be known as The Poor Man's Total Elimination, using arms instead of legs to bastardize the move made great by the Eliminators legendary Perry Saturn and John Kronus. Carlito is pinned and Murdoch and Cade are headed to Backlash to face the Hardy Boys for the belts, but not before they probably dial Domino's and celebrate with copious amounts of pizza and beer.

Carlito is upset by the loss. Ric comes over to comfort Carlito and he shrugs off the Nature Boy, angrily storming out of the ring, leaving with Torrie Wilson and leaving Flair baffled in the process. I'm sure they're going

This was a solid match. I'm not a Cade and Murdoch fan, but they work well together, even though they seem unbalanced. Flair and Carlito are still great performers and singles competitors, so it seems that them paired as a tag team is only a device to set up a rift and feud between the Young Buck and the Veteran Workhorse. However, I can't see either team as worthy of a Number One Contender spot.

Backstage, Shane is preparing for his match and is interrupted by Coach. Coach offers guidance and Shane blows him off. He mentions what a "help" Coach was to his father and look what happened to him at 'Mania. He encourages Coach to focus on day-to-day duties and leave the big stuff to Shane-o.

In another backstage interview segment, Shawn Michaels and his flamboyantly awesome ring attire is with Todd Grisham. He expresses his hopes for the title shot and mentions that the match tonight with Orton to determine the Number One spot will go to who wants it more. Randy Orton pops backstage and interrupts, telling Michaels "You've had your chance. I haven't." Shawn attempts to make with the funny and does a Price is Right bit, asking Todd Grisham to "Tell him what he's won." Michaels answers his own question by saying that Orton has won a new set of dentures once his teeth are kicked out of your face courtesey of Sweet Chin Music. Orton stands there looking stupefied and totally missed an opportunity to make an "old" crack at the Heartbreak Kid's expense but blows it.

After the commercial break, both men make their respective ring entrances. Orton is smirking in the ring as Shawn's music announces that he thinks he's cute and knows he's sexy. Extensive amounts of pyro go off and Shawn looks to be in great shape and ready to kick some ass on his much larger and younger opponent. (The tale of the tape is relayed by Lawler and Ross with Orton standing 6'4" and Michaels at 5'11".

Both men lock up, yanking on one another's hair. Michaels takes Orton to his knees, bending him back with a wristlock. Orton tries to counter it and almost powers out of it but Michaels goes for the hammerlock. Orton reverses it and yanks backwards on Shawn's arm. Michaels reverses it and the two see-saw back and forth, pulling one another's arms). The crowd chants for HBK.

Michaels spontaneously starts bleeding around his eye, looking like the lost member of Demolition. Perhaps Orton didn't clip his nails before the match. No moves executed to this point in the match could have split his eye like that.

Orton monkeyflips Michaels over before wailing away on him in a seated position. Orton attempts a high, jumping, double-knee drop but HBK moves out of the way, sending Orton crashing knee-first to the mat. Michaels seizes upon the opportunity to work on Orton's legs. Gaining momentum, Shawn gets in some good maneuvers, taking out Orton's legs from beneath him.

Shawn gets Randy's leg in a grapevine and by the time Orton gets up, he's limping. Orton tries to kick with the good leg and Shawn grabs it in midair and rolls him over. Orton goes down.

Edge comes out to taunt Randy Orton, strutting slowly down to the ring. Michaels goes in for a roll back pin, catching him off guard, however Orton kicks out and Shawn is sent flying. Randy doesn't learn, heading back to the ring ropes to stare at Edge with intent before RAW breaks for another commercial.

Already in progress, Orton flips Michaels backwards over his head and hurts his leg in the process with the strain. Edge is still lurking around the ring. Orton drags Shawn backwards into the ring and tries to pin him. HBK kicks out… Three times in rapid succession. The crowd continues with an HBK chant as Orton executes the Orton Stomp around Michaels.

Michaels gains to his feet and drops a sunset flip on Orton but he kicks out. Orton gets up and clotheslines Michaels before gripping him up in a seated chokehold. Both men get to their feet. Michaels gut punches Orton before both men trade knife-edged chops and clothesline one another. Before the count of nine, both men get to their feet and go at one another with hard right hands.

Michaels nips up and nails Randy with an inverted atomic drop. He also accidentally nails the ref and knocks him cold. Jim Ross gets in a noteworthy analogy, mentioning that Michaels is "Battering and frying Randy Orton with no ref in sight" Nice, JR.

Michaels sends a flying elbow to Orton's chest and tunes up the band from the corner as Orton gets up. Edge distracts Shawn and Orton flies at Shawn, knocking him down as Edge looked baffled.

Orton capitalizes with an RKO on Shawn on the arena floor. He drags him to ring and throws him in on the apron before exchanging words - and blows - with Edge. Edge spears Orton and throws him back in the ring. Edge rouses the referee on the other side of the ring right before Ref #2 comes in to do the call.

The Ref starts counting to ten as both men are pretty limp on the canvas. At the count of ten, Michaels stands up and kicks Orton and pins him, falling backwards over onto him. Technically, both men's shoulders were down, which accounts for the confusing call. Both referees are raising different hands, declaring different winners. Jim Ross and The King are still confused as to who won the match. So are most of the viewers.

This was a decent match that could have been so much better without the serious dead spots. Shawn Michaels is consistently good and without fail, puts on terrific matches. Orton held his own against Michaels and showcased why he's probably the best younger wrestler out there, not resting on his Third Generation laurels. However, too much effort was put into selling the injury and attempting to insert the Edge/Orton feud into a Number One Contender match.

Backstage, Orton busts in on Shane to complain about the lack of decision in the match. Shane tells him to go bother Coach and have him handle it since he's got bigger fish to fry. (I'm still stuck on J.R.'s analogy.)

Also backstage, Foley is still making his rounds with his friend, little Michael Pena and introducing him to Val Venis and Super Crazy (Oh, lord. My Spidey Senses are tingling and I'm thinking these two might be the next tag team to be slapped together... Which might actually be interesting.) Nitro's heel status is reinforced as he just breezes past Jolly Old St. Mick and his young padawan. Cryme Tyme are shut down for a match tonight. (Hey, they're more fun to watch than Murdoch and Cade! Cut 'em some slack!)

Coach comes in and plays GQ killjoy, riffing on the 8-year-old's clip-on tie and telling him that he makes the major decisions and will allow the small frye to make size-appropriate ones. The kid goes to make a match for Backlash (oh, the irony!) and is interrupted by Edge who wants to pull Coach aside.

After the commercial break is what could be an awesome, PPV-worthy match, yet ends up as being all too brief. The Tag Team Champions, Matt and Jeff Hardy face The World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

Matt Hardy and Charlie Haas are up first. Haas whips Matt off the ropes and clips Haas on his way back around. He makes the tag to his brother, Jeff who goes at it with Shelton. (Wheee! It's my two favorite guys on RAW! Together in the same ring! Insert Madd Fangirl Glee here!)

Shelton succumbs to a wicked Jeff Hardy Elbow and Jeff climbs the ropes. This is where Shelton starts getting pretty vicious and ends up kicking Jeff in the back of the head before tagging in Charlie Haas. Discombobulated, Hardy is almost pinned by Haas but gets out before three.

Benjamin is tagged in and continues his assault of brutality, nearly punching the purple Manic Panic out of Jeff Hardy's hair follicles with all of the blows to Hardy's head. He takes over Hardy with a snapmare and clamps on a tough looking chinlock. Jeff manages to elbow his way out of it and ends up nailing Shelton with a mule kick that was as vicious looking as most of Shelton's onslaught.

Both Haas and Benjamin are in the ring when Matt Hardy is tagged in and Hardy runs at both men with a bulldog and clothesline before lifting them into a Side Effect. Matt Hardy reverses Shelton Benjamin off the ropes and the brothers dust off the Twist of Fate, followed by Jeff executing a Swanton Bomb. Matt covers Shelton Benjamin for the win.

This was a great match with the right amount of high spots, actual wrestling skill, and terrific pacing. All four men are nothing short of amazing in the ring. I do wish the match was longer or made into more of a focus of the night. Easily, this was the best of the night.

Up next is The Cutting Edge, with special guest, John Cena. Actually, the "guest" didn't come out until the very end. Edge's spotlight began with Orton trading verbal blows with him and angrily flinging chairs to and fro.

As Orton flips out, Shawn Michaels makes his entrance with a very noticeable cut above his eye. The Showstopper tells Orton that he is the better man and will treat WWE audiences to the "rematch of all rematches," and face Cena for the WWE Championship at Backlash.

Finally, Cena comes out to play. I could swear the WWE is going out of their way to make his entrances mind-numbingly groan-worthy as evidenced by the barrage of crowd shots, mostly comprised of very errrr…. Bouncy… Female fans of John Cena's. For pete's sake people! There were signs with little hearts with John Cena's name in it! Okay, I can understand back in the day the goo-goo eyes and hearts for Shawn Michaels. That was part of his schtick and his gimmick was the "boy toy" slash "Heartbreak Kid." Yes, both Michaels in the day was pretty hot as is Cena as far as man-candy goes. However, the SEVERAL signs with widdle hearts with John Cena's name in them really takes the cake.

On a similar note, my award for Sign of the Night goes to the guy who had "Umaga: Will You Marry My Mom?" That was a good one. Maybe not for the dude's mother, but still, pretty funny.

Nevertheless, it goes to show you how ill-managed Cena's character is now within the creative department. Shit or get off the pot. Make up your mind if you want him to be the cuddly, kid-friendly, ladies' man, sex symbol of a champion…. Or if you want to market him as a rough and ready wrestler with a thuggish sense of humor. The approach is too split at this point to be truly effective. It's not good when you have a long-running champion that only half of the audience is truly behind.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Cena goes for the old school approach of his original, edgy character and grabs mike and says "we have a problem." He mentions how all of the men in the ring have been talking about each other's packages. Edge beats his. Randy never had one. And HBK isn't happy with his.

The Champ addresses Edge by saying that the last time they fought was in Edge's specialty, a TLC match and Edge still couldn't get the job done. Cena tells Orton that he only has himself to blame. (Uh, does anyone forget when Orton held the belt for a millisecond as the youngest champion ever, if only to strike Brock Lesnar's name from the record books as the youngest WWE champion ever? Correct me if I'm wrong, but he did hold the belt.) To his former partner, Cena insists he will recreate Wrestlemania and urges him to "Come get some."

Coach comes out and informs all four men that he makes the decisions and no one else will be making the matches. Edge and Orton sought him out for his opinion and showed him some respect. For that reason, he rewards Edge and Orton with a 2-on-1 handicap match facing John Cena, the winner becomes Champion. HBK is eliminated from the equation. Not to be picky, but, this match seems to be more of a (yawn) 3-Way Dance and not a handicap match. A handicap match would imply that Edge and Orton are a team (which they are most certainly not) and would share the singular title between the two of them, should their handicap team beat Cena. These writers need to step it up and visit the fact checking department.

Mick Foley comes out wearing his black t-shirt and suit coat combo and shaking his head. He tells Coach that the decision is not his to make. He tried to tell him before that the big decision falls to the evening's honorary RAW GM, Michael Pena. Young Michael awards a spot in the match to Shawn Michaels, making the Backlash match to contain all four men currently in the ring at this time.

While this was pretty predictable, it was still nice to see the little kid get such a huge and positive crowd reaction from the crowd. Even though I bag on them at times, the WWE does some pretty nice stuff.

After the commercial break, the Shane McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley match is up. Shane makes his entrance doing the Shane O' Shuffle and the barber chair and utensils are set up near the ring.

Lashley comes out and the action begins outside of the ring. Lashley tries to send Shane into ring post and picks him up, throwing him into the ring. Shane does a very agile baseball slide out to Lashley and takes him down. He plows into Lashley, sending him to steel steps before tossing him into the ring. The bell sounds and Shane goes for the cover. Shane shuffles in the ring as Lashley is propped up in the corner. He pulls through and gets up, running at McMahon and pitching him over his shoulder.

Lashley grandstands for the crowd and they love it. Shane spears him and Lashley sells it, holding his stomach after the Shane Spear. Making for a deliberate DQ, Shane beans referee Mike Chioda in the face and he's down. Lashley pummels Shane into the corner before Umaga, Estrada and Vince McMahon come down to the ring. McMahon and Estrada have matching hats, and boy does Vinnie Mac look totally pimp. Umaga hits the ring and goes to town on Lashley as Estrada holds him in place.

Umaga Ass-Splashes Lashley into the corner… Twice. Lashley is crumpled in the corner and goes limp like a penis after a fifth of Jim Beam. Shane picks up a chair and creams Lashley in the face with it. He smiles happily and Vince grabs the mike. We have a bleeder as Umaga hits Lashley repeatedly on the canvas. Shane delivers a hard elbow to Lashley's back and it's time to say hello to kidney trouble, Bobby.

Vince McMahon is in full-on crazy mode, twitching and popping his eyes like Aunt Esther and asking Lashley "Now what's gonna happen to you.!?" He pulls off his hat to reveal his lack of hair (which is growing back) and screams "You did this to me!" It's kind of a reverse version of Mr. Big yelling at R. Kelly in the "Keep It On the Downlow" video. Mr. McMahon makes the match for Backlash, pitting Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga vs. Shane McMahon vs. Vincent Kennedy McMahon for the ECW Title. The odds are 50% that a McMahon could walk away holding the ECW belt, which would effectively flip over the rotting corpse of ECW, piss on it, and bury it face down.

Vince is like a shark and sees the blood pouring out of Lashley and orders his crew to "Give it to him!" Umaga pummels Lashley, beating him down. Lashley is dripping blood all over Shane's hand as he holds him in place. Umaga delivers a Samoan Spike to Lashley. Umaga sees the blood on his hands and freaks out like Carrie. At this point, I'm expecting someone to start chanting "Plug it up!"

Vince nails Lashley in the side of his head, feeling super vindicated, spattering Lashley's blood on his tie as he whacks at Lashley's cranium victoriously as the show goes off the air. I know it makes me a bad fangirl, but I love me some Vince McMahon. And whooda thunk that bald Vince could be even more fun than Vince with hair!? He seems to really be enjoying the hat-as-prop thing and having a ridiculous amount of fun with it.

Overall, this was a very good RAW. It was better than last week's and is now setting things up swiftly and effectively for Backlash. I had no problems with the matches. They served their function, however, I wished the Hardy Boys vs. WGTT match was longer. This one gets a big thumbs up.